Friday, February 18, 2011

My Wife Is Trying To Kill You

My Missus knew what she was getting into when she married a sound guy. The first thing I did after we got back from our honeymoon was go out on tour for three months. More than once we've had to make plans to fit delivering a baby into my production schedule. She's even got a clever scheme to pacify the Short People when they get upset that I'll be gone to yet another gig... "We like to eat kids. Say bye bye to Daddy". But she has her ways of exacting her revenge. One way really, and it's this:

Opening night of a theatrical run she feeds me beans.

It started a few years ago when we were particularly poor and eating rather a lot of beans to keep the grocery bills down. I went off to mix a musical one night after downing a hearty dish of red beans and rice and, well... to put it politely the last ten rows of house right seats didn't have such a good time of it that night. I remarked on it to her at which point we both had a good laugh.

The thing is, she keeps doing it! And I never catch on till it's too late. I've never been able to get the drop on her. The last theatrical run I mixed it hit me as I was pushing my chair back. Ugh. Maybe someday I'll catch on before I sit down to eat and say that I'm running late and I'll just grab a burger on the way to the venue. Somehow I doubt it though.

She informs me that it is always going to happen and it is always going to be funny. True and truer. So now you know. If you're buying advance tickets for opening night of a musical in Genesee county it would serve you well to find out where the sound guy is mixing from and stay at least ten rows away.