Friday, May 15, 2009


Prom... fucking laaaaaaaaaame dude. Didn't go. Either year. Didn't even think about it. Instead, spent a lot of time doing this:

Let the record show that the quilt top Fender with the white pick guard belonged to SOMEBODY ELSE. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of those things but I was just sitting in that night. My usual date was a BC Rich bass that summer.

But the real purpose of this whole thing is to show off pictures of yourself in the heart of the awkward years isn't it? So I dug out a few goodies. Like this one of me and my best bud Skeeder on the day we switched clothes. That's me sporting his button down shirt, taper leg jeans and loafers with no socks. And he's on the right wearing the stuff I had on this morning.

Don't think for a minute that I wasn't capable of stylish dress on my own though. There was also a day, I forget what the actual occasion was, that the whole Coffee Club decided to wear suspenders and ties to school. This is me and my friend Nuke with a fresh cup by my locker that day.

And yes, that is Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali on my tie. But what you really wanted was prom pictures right? That was the assignment. I'm not the least bit sorry to say that I didn't try to get laid in a rented car wearing rented clothing after having eaten dry chicken at some restaurant and attending a chaperoned dance. Instead I went to the anti-prom my senior year with these folks.

The guy directly to the left of me had a cabin out behind his mom's house and it was pretty much off the radar. About twenty of us got in there and got a face full of beer and listened to the same two tapes that we had been jamming all year. Two Maxell 90s. One with Pork Soda on one side and Ritual de lo Habitual on the other and the second with Seasons In The Abyss and White Zombie.

Nobody suspected that anything was even slightly amiss. We had been hanging out there all year. No annoying pictures in itchy clothes in the front yard. No wrist corsages. No signed parental notes excusing us from the mandatory drug and alcohol free after party in the gym. No sneaking in gin in a Sprite bottle. No sneaking out the back doors by the tennis courts for a smoke. We had coolers and ashtrays.

Anyway, I'm sure you all had a wonderful time at your proms. I don't mean to take away from any of that. I was just busy doin' other stuff.



blissfully caffeinated said...

Your high school had a coffee club? We had nothing quite that sophisticated at my school. But, I grew up surrounded by the mooing of thousands and thousands of cows. We're probably lucky there was a drama club.

I like your anti-prom post. And now I'm gonna go pass some notes to your Missus about how totally fine you are and giggle a lot.

Irish Gumbo said...

Busy doing other things?

Welcome to the Planet, MF! (What's MF, mean, Beavis?)

Guess that make you More Human Than Human...heehee

I wore a white jacket with scarlet cummerbund to mine...and no, I ain;t posting a picture of it :)

Sherendipity said...

This is a great spin on the prom spin. Love the coffee club picture.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Any fan of Primus deserves this:

ChurchPunkMom said...

dude. awesome.

Julie said...

wow. You were very cool even in your high school days. I wish my prom post could be this cool.