Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The State Of Things

Everybody's feeling a little meh. The Missus in particular but we're all feeling it. Work is wearing on me, even though I feel like I might be winning, gaining some ground. The Short People... are pretty much savages. They're cure savages but they're just strung out on daylight savings time or something and it's pretty much like being in the primate house at the zoo.

So let's focus on the positive, shall we? First of all, the new Green Day is so good that it hurts me. I got through washing the dishes tonight purely on the songwriting excellence and flawless production values of Know Your Enemy. To think, scrappy little Green Day who were nobodies when I was in high school are still pissed off enough to make music that gets my blood flowing.

A brief pause while I blast that track one time on the shop sound system.

Yeah, moving on. The Missus has nearly finished hand crafting Miss O's flower girl dress and it's pretty much as spectacular as anything you'd find on a rack at the store. Except that it's way better than that because there's just enough of a hint of my-mom-made-this about it to make it fairly glow. I may need a shot of Motörhead to recover from gushing about a dress. Bee right back.

Surprise, surprise it's Memorial Day weekend already. We'll likely be doing just a ton of gardening this weekend and that's always a good feeling. We're expecting a visit on Sunday from The Missus' college roomie and our favorite soon-to-be-married couple is stopping in for hot dogs and merriment on Memorial Day Monday. I'll be lucky if there's anything left of me to drag into work on Tuesday.

I just ran out of steam there. Good enough. I'll leave you with the following encouragement. Don't be afraid to blast the stereo and mash your favorite air guitar to splinters, and don't worry about the neighbors, they need to hear it too.


Friday, May 15, 2009


Prom... fucking laaaaaaaaaame dude. Didn't go. Either year. Didn't even think about it. Instead, spent a lot of time doing this:

Let the record show that the quilt top Fender with the white pick guard belonged to SOMEBODY ELSE. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of those things but I was just sitting in that night. My usual date was a BC Rich bass that summer.

But the real purpose of this whole thing is to show off pictures of yourself in the heart of the awkward years isn't it? So I dug out a few goodies. Like this one of me and my best bud Skeeder on the day we switched clothes. That's me sporting his button down shirt, taper leg jeans and loafers with no socks. And he's on the right wearing the stuff I had on this morning.

Don't think for a minute that I wasn't capable of stylish dress on my own though. There was also a day, I forget what the actual occasion was, that the whole Coffee Club decided to wear suspenders and ties to school. This is me and my friend Nuke with a fresh cup by my locker that day.

And yes, that is Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali on my tie. But what you really wanted was prom pictures right? That was the assignment. I'm not the least bit sorry to say that I didn't try to get laid in a rented car wearing rented clothing after having eaten dry chicken at some restaurant and attending a chaperoned dance. Instead I went to the anti-prom my senior year with these folks.

The guy directly to the left of me had a cabin out behind his mom's house and it was pretty much off the radar. About twenty of us got in there and got a face full of beer and listened to the same two tapes that we had been jamming all year. Two Maxell 90s. One with Pork Soda on one side and Ritual de lo Habitual on the other and the second with Seasons In The Abyss and White Zombie.

Nobody suspected that anything was even slightly amiss. We had been hanging out there all year. No annoying pictures in itchy clothes in the front yard. No wrist corsages. No signed parental notes excusing us from the mandatory drug and alcohol free after party in the gym. No sneaking in gin in a Sprite bottle. No sneaking out the back doors by the tennis courts for a smoke. We had coolers and ashtrays.

Anyway, I'm sure you all had a wonderful time at your proms. I don't mean to take away from any of that. I was just busy doin' other stuff.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Sail Away For A Sunny Day, And I'll Keep Watch Tonight

I just had a memory pop up from when I was very little, maybe four. I walked into my room in the summer and looked into the late sunshine of the day and felt the evening breeze start to swish in through the screen. I don't want to get all Eyore but I think that was the last time that I wasn't worried about anything. I look around my house now at the four Short People all nestled in their beds and I'm hoping with all I have that they're having those same kind of moments and that they don't start getting gnawed at by the world for a long time.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Lemme Stand Next To Yo Fie-Yah!

So I was standing in line at the buffet tonight, at a pipeline excavation seminar (courtesy of the hospital) next to my friend from the crew. A girl who was an emergency responder on the other side of the table asked, "Where do you guys work?" My buddy responded and she followed up with, "So why do you have flame resistant clothes on?"

Arc-flash protection when we work on electrical systems was the answer but dang girl, good eye. We both scooped up some chicken parm with our wedding ring hands and moved on just in case it was some type of haz-mat crew pick up line and moved on.

In other news, a part of our fire detection system actually CAUGHT ON FIRE today. Right at the end of the shift, which is when the system seems to want to be acting up these days. (There's somethng about the smell of an eighty year old transformer smoldering that reminds me of camp.) I put in two extra hours sorting it out with an electrician and two other guys from the crew, went to the dinner/seminar, then came back to bring the thing back on line. It saved some poor sap from having to wander the halls of an ancient and remote building all night doing fire watch but it also meant that I missed any time with my Short People today. Ah well, better luck tomorrow.

Now I'm home and the kitchen's a mess so I'm off to put in some time on KP duty and hopefully get in the rack sometime before tomorrow. G'nite all.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Movin' On Up?

I wound up having lunch with the Big Boss today. Not that I was trying to, he just happened to be in the area and we wound up at a table together. He mentioned that he was going to be drawing up a construction job. I couldn't tell from the statement whether he was getting ready to put a deck on his house or if there was still more to be done here at the hospital.

Turns out the latter was true and there was more on top of it. The "construction job" he was writing up was a job description for a guy to be a liaison to contractors. I asked if he was looking to hire someone on in a serious tone. He responded emphatically that the hospital wanted very much to keep me at that position. I don't know if it comes with a raise to go with my shiny company cell phone but that would sure be nice. If it's just a title I suppose I could live with that. I think I'll insist on the title being Construction Coordinator though. If they're only going to give me two little words they should at least be ones that will look good on my resume.

Later that day he called me up to look at some unfinished space we have. Turns out the hospital is interested in turning it into a meeting room. Oy. Just what I needed, another construction project to be the cherry on top of a five scoop sundae. Maybe if it turns out to be a particularly nice meeting room I can get it named after me. Ah well, whatever. At least it looks like the more time goes by the more they're willing to let me just work on my own, which is how things get done the quickest.

In other news it's been nearly a whole week that our entire family has been healthy. I sort of forgot what it was like, being that the last time it happened was back in the neighborhood of Thanksgiving. So we give thanks to the Most High, for good weather and healthy children to send out in it.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Movin Slowwwwww

Today was one of those that just loped along. I got up. I wandered around. I ate some stuff. I fed the kids. The Missus was going on about doing stuff with plants. There isn't really enough here to scrape together a proper post. Mostly I just feel like writing a list of all the pleasant things that occurred today so that you can agree with me how much better toady was than all the other days where I had to deal with fire alarms and the fire department and asbestos and whatnot.

- Had a date with my daughter in which we went to the bank, the bottle return, and Target.

- Was only pissed off for a total of 43 minutes the whole day and it was mostly at myself due to my lack of patience with the Short People.

- Watched a lot of green things start to hold their own.

- Streamed a show on Public Radio of old timey music on my iPod touch while running around the yard with a wheel barrow.

- Cooked pancakes and homemade sausage for the Short People while The Missus was off at a dinner party with the wee bairn.

- Forgot I am in possession of a company cell phone for over six hours.

- Listened to Prairie Home Companion while the Shorties did something else that wasn't punching each other in the face.

- Put my kids to bed and they all just stayed there.


Friday, May 8, 2009

You Know It's Going To Be A Great Day When It Starts With A Visit From The Fire Department

Yeah, so right after I finished up my morning safety rounds at the construction site and dragged my coffee-deprived carcass over to the other campus... My phone started ringing, my radio started squawking, and the PA system started spewing about a CODE RED AT BANK STREET!

I hung my head for several milliseconds as I set down my still steaming bean tea (the wimp juice they call coffee at the hospital), grabbed two other guys and piled into a truck. We got there ahead of the Fire Department (cause we RAWK! that's why) and slogged our way through the situation. Two hours later it was under control but the aftermath and the phone calls from my boss pretty much didn't stop all day.

Then, at the very end of the day, when it was time for the asbestos guys to take their little protective baggies off the smoke detectors so I could turn them back on and go home? That's right... WHOOOP WHOOOOP CODE RED AT BANK STREET! (some times I wish she'd toss in a saucy mutha-hucka on the end) So that meant another hour makin' sweet love to the ancient fire alarm system and I missed picking up my paycheck.

I'm grinning as I'm writing this. Things are just so crazy that my, "We'll look back at this and laugh someday" reflex kicks in after about four hours. I'm nearly peeing my pants right now. Because as a follow up I got to spend the evening with my MOTHER-IN-LAW! HAH! Hitler in the Southwest penthouse of hell isn't having as fine a time! We arrived two hours past dinner time with a crew of deranged huns children and found that there was NO PIZZA on the premises.

But whatever. I'm home. I'm fed. I'm about to get into the bourbon like it's my fucking JOB and there's one more tiny tidbit of sweet icing on this steaming pile of a week I've had. At the very least I have this one tiny concession. I, The Mister, am the onliest employee in all of hospital land who is authorized for over time. As long as it pertains to the Bank Street project and especially if it pertains to the fire system. Sounds like a casual smoke under the ol' detectors might become a favorite pass time this summer.

I'm off to get lacquered with The Missus and NOT have sex. Because her girl parts are still tired from birthin' mah beautiful babeh, that's why. Nosey.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Running Late

I never got on board with the Random Tuesday thing but here's my late entry. It's only Thursday right?

Just when you think you've bottomed out... actually, bottoming out would be nice because usually bottoming out is just an expectation of discovering another sub-basement for me find yourself on the up-swing.

Or maybe it's just that you've finally managed to slog all the way back to the top of the hill and you get to jump on the sled again.

Right now I'm not any more or less tired than I usually am. I'm about as scruffy and smelly as I can possibly get. My job is still ridiculous but it's been this particular flavor of ridiculous for long enough that I'm starting to feel like I've got a handle on it. My kids have taken the craziness up several notches and in that reached a new level of cuteness.

And most importantly, my wife appears to me now even more beautiful and wonderful than ever, which is odd because she's finally caught The Sickness. Likely the blog post that prompted all her followers to go on at length extolling her virtues didn't hurt her image. Her public revelation of some very bad stuff in her past is the thing that's really got me right now though. It wasn't even so she could "work through it". She did it out a completely selfless desire to help other people who have been through it too.

Yeah, even when it's bad around here it's pretty good. And it looks to be getting better.



Monday, May 4, 2009

Day And Night

All day long I get grownups that act like children.

All night long I get children that act like monkeys.

When I finally fall blissfully asleep I keep having this dark dream that I work in a hospital.

...aww crap.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

What's The Deal?

I was pondering the fullness of my life right now. Balancing the joys of parenting with the stresses. I'm looking at other families with kids and seeing parents with pass times and interests. I'm wondering if it's just that their kids are a little older and amuse themselves or if it's that they're somewhat inattentive. I look at couples with no children who have (apparently) all the time and money in the world to amuse themselves. Half of me thinks they're too self centered to ever be good parents and the other half wishes I could just take my wife out whenever I want to.

The other night I was frustrated at not having any of the requirements to pursue my hobby. Ham radio and electronics give me a great deal of satisfaction. With just a little money and some time at the workbench and I can build something that I will use. But there's not really any money to spare and the time that I do have to myself is that used-up, winding-down part of the day where my head is too cloudy to think things out. There's nothing like trying to build something without all the parts and without enough brain power to work it through.

So I'm back to wondering about families where Dad always seems to be out puttering, fixing up the house and Mom has a hobby or is off with The Girls. Again, half of me is jealous and the other half wonders if they're just filling up the hours. I look at myself on a day off. Once I've taken a nap and read a little I start getting restless. Am I even capable of any other type of lifestyle?

After six years of diapers and doctor appointments, snotty noses and skinned knees, and with at least a few more to go do I really want anything different? Would two consecutive days off cure me? When the kids all come home from school and disappear on their bikes will I be moping around an empty house, just waiting for bedtime? Is near total devotion to the lives of my children worth the near total sacrifice of my own?

Yeah... most likely.

Updated: After drinking a little coffee and doing a little math I came to the following (startling) conclusion. When I drop my youngest off to start his first year of college I will be not quite two months into my fiftieth year. Judging by the looks of others who have gone on before me with a similar lifestyle it looks like there will still be plenty of cluck left in this banty rooster by then. At that point I intend to dedicate some of my free time to being smug about people who waited to have kids. Suckers!


Friday, May 1, 2009


I had a lot of stuff to say but I think I'm finally coming down with the walking mumbly-fuzz. The Missus will surely state that I never get sick, but I'm pretty sure I'll be sleeping with a pan by the side of the bed just in case.

I was going to write a whole bunch of stuff about love and being loved. I asked a few people to pray for us and then a lot of people did. I've been trying to step up my game on that front as well. It's made me a lot more aware of all the stuff that goes right and all the kindness that people throw our way.

All around me things are working out for the best. I've got front row seats to the wedding of the century. I'm going on a date with my wife for the first time in a year (sick or not). The weather is finally warming up. The list goes on and on.

That wasn't all of it but you get the idea. Maybe I'm just dehydrated. I'm going after a big drink and then I'm going to go about the business of sleeping with all the gusto I can muster.