Friday, April 10, 2009

The Old One-Two!

I got an hour at home by myself today. The Missus had taken the enti-ah family to Sweets' doctor appointment. I found dinner waiting in a pan on the table, slapped it in the oven, took a shower and braced myself.

It was a good thing I did that bracing thing. The Short People were in rare form. Watching The Cat In The Hat (Mike Myers version) got them even more fueled up for some pre-bedtime shenannigans. Little H-Bomb started in before the movie was even over, rolling all over the place litke a total whack-a-doo.

The worst of it happened during the closing credits. The Shorties always like to dance to the closing title music so I made myself busy getting the chairs and tray tables out of the way. When the last chair had been set out of harm's way I grabbed J-Man by both hands and started swinging his arms back and forth. We swung it for a few measures and I let his hands drop at which point he immediately punched me in the dick.

Like... swing, two, three, four, swing, two, three, four, PUNCH!!!! (!) Like it was a well rehearsed finish to the ol' swing dance with Daddy.

I did the only thing you can do when you're lying on the floor, cradling your nuggets and trying not to laugh so the kid doesn't get the wrong idea. I threw a shoe at him and told him not to hit. (It was one of the kids' Crocs so you can stop looking up the number for Child Protective Services, mmmm-kay?)

New Rule:
Section I, Paragraph 2, Subsection i, Line 4:
No punching Dad in the dick. Ever. (!)



Pamela said...

it was that shit movie that made them all crazy-like.

Irish Gumbo said...

My good man...(GUFFAW!)(Spittake)

My man, nothing says love like a punch in the junk.

Perhaps a cup would help :)

Coelecanth said...

Thank you sir. I really needed that laugh.

Jim Styro said...

It goes without saying - but I'll say it anyway:

Man, that is an EXCELLENT rule.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Oof. I don't have any nuggets and it made me cringe.