Monday, January 5, 2009

Jail Bird

This is the story of part of an incredibly no good screwed up day that happened to The Missus. You'll have to click over to her blog to read about the rest of it because it happened to her and she tells it with particular flair (and hot pink letters!). As of this writing she hasn't posted it yet so if you're reading this later on you'll just have to reference the date to find it because I'm going to forget to cross link it tomorrow. So there.

I was about an hour from finishing up work today when I got a text message from The Missus. It stated that Miss O had locked H-Bomb in the bedroom. Not a big deal at this point because he was sleeping, and that boy can sleep. I sent her instructions on how to open the lock with a coat hanger and went about my business.

Thirty-three minutes later I got another text stating that my lovely wife was apparently not cut out for a life of crime. H-Bomb still asleep... situation still at DEFCON 4.

One hour and fourteen minutes later I got a phone call, not panicked but wanting to know rightthisveryminute how close I was to being home. Turns out the wee bairn was still in the clink and was now awake and PISSED! Situation elevated to DEFCON 1! Dad speeds to the rescue as fast as the Mister Mobile will take him.

As I burst through the door, already scanning the room for a convenient coat hanger I saw little H-Bomb nestled in his Mama's lap. Sad little boy was still sobbing and clinging to her like a little monkey. Turns out my Missus is quite crafty with the knitting needles and got that sucker open after all.

It took the poor little guy over an hour to get settled down. Due to being deprived of his after-nap juice and also to having a wicked case of the Eye Mung and a bad cold to boot. Miss O felt terrible. She was just trying to help out, little proto-matron that she is and wound up getting a very scary lesson in how locks work.

And that is all I have to say on the topic of house arrest. To hear the kind of funny but not really story of the rest of the day you'll have to check out what The Missus wrote after 12:01 am.



Pamela said...

I'm not that good with the knitting needles. It took me ninetyeleven tries and the same number of curses to get it open.

Irish Gumbo said...

"I'm the Mister. I solve problems."

An excellent case study of remote, executive-level crisis management. Bravo, sir!

I shall check with the Missus for the real story...:)

Irish Gumbo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daniels5 said...

Crap I was so hoping you were going to tell us all that you were joining me in knowing what the inside of a jail cell looks like from 1st hand experience. I guess I'm still a loner in that catagory!