Friday, October 10, 2008

In Sickness and Health

Anyone not following along with The Missus on her blog will have missed out on the Great Barfing Binge of '08. Yeah buddy. It started with little H-Bomb demonstrating his above average skill at projectile vomiting. Setting the mark at just a tick over twelve feet, he's ready for collegiate level competition. After The Missus, who has an extreme aversion to barf, wrangled the children through the rest of their day it continued to go down hill from there.

J-Man woke up crying about two minutes after I finally got into bed. False alarm. The real deal came at 2:45 when I was awakened by more crying to find The Missus at his door and himself with a big pile o' doggie chow in his lap. Yay. Deduct one hour of sleep for cleanup, laundry, snuggling, etc.

I was feeling none too stable when I got up at 5:30. Not that I'm particularly together at that hour of the day. I wasn't sure if I was getting it or was just feeling the effects of missing out on some zees. Then the churning set in mid-morning. Now I can cope with being under the weather at work. Usually if I can stand up I'll go to work cause it helps keep the blood moving and speed recovery. This particular work day found me completely out of my element. Instead of strapping on my tool belt, I got saddled with updating the computer program that keeps track of our mandated inspections. The computer program that is unlike any I have ever experienced before in that my previous experiences only include programs that make sense. To make matters worse, the last guy that did it was former military. He was mostly concerned with filling drawer after drawer with printouts. Apparently the really important details he just kept in his head though because they weren't in the program or the file cabinets.

So I got to sit in a six by ten office all day, sea sick, and have people check in by phone, in person, and by radio to see why-the-hell-it-wasn't-done-yet! While sea-sick. Yay. Then at the end of the day I had the high honor of meeting said former employee so he could teach me his methods. He must have interpreted all the deep breathing as my method of coping with the task because he seemed completely unaware that he was at risk of wearing my lunch.

At home the kids were mostly better and a little Gatorade seemed to make everything right as rain. The Missus had a prescription for some anti-nausea medication that seemed to fix her little red wagon as well. Myself, I just skipped dinner and tried to help get the kids to bed. I didn't rate too high on the helpful spouse scale. My efforts consisted of laying with my head in a pile of laundry and willing the children into bed.

I crawled onto the couch, pulled a blanket over myself, and except for getting up once an hour or so to see if I was actually going to throw up or not, I knew no more until I woke up this morning. It was time to go to work so I figured eh... what the hell. A cup of coffee and a graham cracker probably wasn't the best recovery breakfast but sometimes you just have to make do with what you've got. Fortunately, the sickness had passed and I had a mostly normal day.

Despite the sight of me laying on the couch likely making her blood boil, The Queen Mum let me lie. I'm so grateful to her for that. She's had the rottenest of rotten days, the house is pretty messed up, and I won't even get into the medicine she had to take. So now I'm off to do some overtime. We're days behind on the housework and nothing makes Mama happy like a clean house. Except blogging, which I hope she's doing right now. While blogging she's about as reachable as a coma patient, so I can be a whirlwind of productivity and not even disturb her reverie. When she get's up from the computer it's like she's been away and is walking through the door. I can totally surprise her with a sparkly kitchen.



Daniels5 said...

gosh, you guys have had a week! glad to know you are feeling better!

So how is this new job going? I guess I should check Simple Terms,

that girl said...

Ugh - shouldn't there be a cosmic rule of immunity for at least one parent?