Wednesday, August 20, 2008


I'm going to beat my wife to the presses this time, so stop them... there's a new headline. (!)

We're having baby number four.


That's out there.

The parents know and the guys at work know, so now it's safe to tell people from church and publish on the web.

Speaking of the guys at work, boooooy was that a bomb dropped. The Missus was pretty sure I had knocked her up back in July and I let it slip at work, to much guffawing and ribbing. Then she was pretty sure she wasn't and so I had relief for a spell. Then last night on the couch she let fly that she was definantly preggers and pretty sure it was twins. Flash forward to me talking to myself at work and getting asked what I was muttering about. "What the hell am I going to do with twins!" "HOOOOOOOO!" was the response. The Queen Mum had a good zinger last night as well, "Well, at least I know you're not cheating on me." "How so?" I reply. "Because there's not a line of pregnant women outside.

I should look into sperm donation as a sideline because my swim team is apparently competing at the Michael Phelps level. Scratch that... Navy Seal level. Those guys are gettin the mission accomplished with gusto. OOOH-RAH! It makes me feel bad for people who have trouble conceiving, not that I have any ability to relate to that. Ladies, make sure you're wearing long sleeves if you plan on standing next to me. And guys, if we shake hands you better wash thouroughly before you touch your wife. (Not that I have sperm all over me, c'mon guys that's gross.)

So now not only am I quitting my job and trying to sort out a financial future for The Team, there's another mouth to feed and two more years of diapers and six more years before The Missus can easily be gainfully employed. Unless, of course, she turns out to be one of those wildly successful bloggers that just gets buckets of cash dumped on her for being witty at the keyboard. (Go Babe Go!)

I'm not even going to get started on the hardships joys of gestation at our house. Suffice it to say that the surrounding populace is being warned. I'm not kidding when I say that three counties will be walking on eggshells till the little bundle arrives. No offense Hunny, even though you (blessedly) have little or no recolection of the previous three pregnancies, you've heard the stories... we're all battening down the hatches. (Stay tuned for future posts recollecting such gems as "What She Said to Pastor Ed" and "I'm NEVER Going To Have This Baby!")

Ahh well. The sweet expectation has begun. Judging by the previous results, we do a pretty good job with the whole procreation thing. Like anything else it's a big sack o' hassle, but well worth it at the end of the day. Now all I have to do is add a room to the house and figure out how to pay for it all.

Let the text messaging begin. G'nite.

P.S. It's not twins and the date is April 7


'That Girl' said...

Congratulations! Be humble with the pregnant's not easy being pregnant. It's especially not easy being pregnant with 3 children.

I love it that you two are happy about it and not flipping out. I think we might be flipping out just a tad over here. lol..I keep telling the sister wives to get a grip on their emotions, it's like Chernobyl over here everytime we get a pink line!

The Mister said...

In my line of work it pays to have a calm, cool exterior. (Inside I'm SCREAMING). I've learned to take everything in stride and be at peace with what God gives us.

P.S. It's a VERY big local joke how scatterbrained my otherwise world-dominating wife gets when she's preggers. She says the craziest stuff and doesn't remember any of it.

Pamela said...

I've been pregnant before?